The song “Trumpets,” by Jason Derulo, has been around for a while now, but I can’t help but think about the strange questions it asks of its audience, every time one hears it. It’s the tale of a first person narrator and a second person, the beloved, a female companion of the love-struck narrator who he has already wooed and is now in the process of praising.
But instead of simply being a Petrarchan catalogue of all the things he loves and admires about his beautiful beloved, it is instead a description of the things that Jason thinks about and hears when spending time with her. Not only that, but he tells us about the things he hears and imagines and about which he thinks through a series of questions, each beginning with is it weird…
Which requires an answer.
And that answer is yes: yes, Jason, a lot of what you are saying in this song is pretty weird.
So let’s take a look at the questions you are asking, whether or not the answer is yes, and why. If you aren’t familiar with the song, here you go:
But first, what do we know before the questions begin? We know that a) he often sees her get undressed b) when he sees her get undressed, he hears symphonies in his head c) he wrote this song while looking at her, although it’s not clear if she was dressed or undressed when he wrote it. (Note: all of Jason’s dialogue is actual lyrics from the song.)
Jason: Is it weird that I hear violins whenever you’re gone?
Audience: Maybe. Do you mean that you feel sad when I’m gone? Violins are a sad instrument, and when I’m gone you become sad? Not, that’s not weird. It’s actually kinda sweet.
Jason: Is it weird that your ass remind me of a Kanye West song?
Audience: Wow. Okay. You classed it down dramatically with that one. Yeah, it’s kinda weird. I mean, which Kanye West song? Or do you mean not a specific song, but all of his songs? The general idea of his songs? Do I remind you of Paris? Of a gold-digger? Or all the lights? Or a song he hasn’t written yet? Or you simply mean that you like my large butt, and that reminds you of Kanye West, because he also likes large butts? So I guess the answer is no, it’s not really that weird, but it is very weird that you would say that out loud.
Jason: Is it weird that I hear trumpets when you’re turning me on?
Audience: Well, I liked the violins thing better, but at least you’re not saying the Kanye West thing again. No, it’s not that weird. Not exactly weird, but not sweet either.
Jason: Is it weird that your bra remind me of a Katy Perry song?
Audience: Well, again, my first thought is what song? But, again, I don’t think you actually mean a song. Which makes this, out of the four things you have said so far, both the weirdest and the least appropriate. Are you saying that you think about Katy Perry when we’re together? I mean, I guess that you are flattering mean, as I know that you find Katy Perry attractive, as do a lot of people, right? Is this a compliment? But why are you thinking about Katy Perry right now?
Jason: Every time that you get undressed, I hear symphonies in my head. I wrote this song just looking at you ooh, oh. Yeah the drums they swing low and the trumpets they go. And they playing for you girl. And the trumpets they go. (Ha, yeah). Yeah the trumpets they go. Yeah the trumpets they go. Go, go-go, go-go, go, go-go. And they go.
Audience: That was a nice monologue.
Jason: Damn. Is it weird that I hear angels every time that you moan?
Audience: Yikes. Are you taking this in a religious direction?
Jason: Is it weird that your eyes remind me of a Coldplay song?
Audience: I’m assuming you don’t mean “Yellow,” because that would suggest I have jaundice. Kidding. No, it’s not that weird. It’s a lot better than the last several things you’ve said. Is there a specific Coldplay song? Are they really into eyes? I guess I hadn’t realized that.
Jason: Is it weird that I hear trumpets when you’re turning me on?
Audience: Are we back to this one? I guess I’m still undecided.
Jason: Is it weird that your bra remind me of a Katy Perry song?
Audience: I’m pretty shocked that you decided to say that twice. Yes, it’s weird. This whole thing is really weird. I think I’m gonna go now.
Jason: Every time that you get undressed, I hear symphonies in my head. I wrote this song looking at you ooh, oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah the drums they swing low and the trumpets they go. Acapella on ’em.
They go, oh-ooh, yeah
Come on, come on, come on.
They go.
Audience: ….
FIN
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