Commenters Gonna Comment: Responses to a Ross Geller Fan Theory

After several waves of intermediate virality regarding a theory about Friends, this blog and its author have received some very entertaining feedback, through the legions of recappers, bloggers, and commenters that have thoughts and feelings regarding my suggestion that Ross Geller was an inept father who lost custody of his son. My initial response, when reading some of these, was to want to go out there and argue with people.

Instead, I remembered something important: haters are inevitably going to hate. As proven by the celebrities who read mean tweets about themselves, the best thing to do is laugh and shrug and keep doing what you’re doing.

You guys really that mad at me for making fun of this guy?
You guys really that mad at me for making fun of this guy?

So here are some of the rave reviews that I’ve received:

“…completely ridiculous.” – Michelle B, commenter on Huffington Post.

“What a waste.” – Sally K, commenter on Huff Post.

“….what a bunch of dribble….” – Patrise S, commenter on Huff Post.

“This is stupid.” – Jessica F S, commenter on Huff Post.

“Seriously? I think a hobby is needed…” – Melissa S-A, commenter on Huff Post.

“Anyone who spends this much time analyzing character on a comedy, yes – a fictionalized version of peoples lives, has way too much time on his or her hands. Do something productive!” – Lori M. H., commenter on Huff Post.

“He’s not a bad professor.” – Nait A. C., commenter on Huff Post.

“Waaaaay too much time on your hands” – Jay R., commenter on Huff Post.

“Way too much time on your hands. How many years ago was this show cancelled?” – Deborah B., commenter on Huff Post.

“Someone has way too much free time.” – Ephy K, commenter on Huff Post.

“Coming to all of these conclusions would be like arguing for statistics based on the frequency of extremely rare medical cases all occurring in Princeton-Plainsboro from House M.D. …” – Vadim B

“…maybe the child actor who played Ross’s son had to be somewhere else, like school.” – Ariel Karlin,

“Or more likely, the boy or boys, playing Ben actually had some career success with Big Daddy and decided not to be on the show anymore.” – Joseph F.

“…smells of SJW…” and “This author has sympthoms of feminazi.” – Honza8D, on the Friends subreddit. (SJW, I learned, means “Social Justice Warrior.” Huh. Okay. Thank you!)

Now brace yourself for this one, because it’s long but it’s a good one:

“I just finished binge watching Friends from beginning to end on netflix, over the course of a few months. Friends had a lot of internal inconsistencies which indicate that actually it’s not a show where you should put a lot of effort into logically understanding. For example in one episode Chandler flies to Yemen and in the following episode (one week later) there is no mention of Yemen. It takes practically a week just to fly to Yemen and return. In another episode Joey’s eyebrows are destroyed and in the following episode, another week later, his eyebrows have returned to normal. This is a show that can be enjoyed for the wonderful acting and wonderful writing and jokes, but that is not a holy text to be understood through study and close analysis. It’s more like Gilligan’s Island, less like Lost. What is going on here is that Lovett has his own dead horses to beat, and is using old episodes of Friends to beat those horses.” – Peter J, commenter on Huffington Post.

Haters will hate

I’ll leave one response to all of this: over-thinking things is fun. Blogging is one of several fulfilling hobbies that I have, and a hobby I would recommend to all the angry internet commenters.

And to answer one more question I’ve gotten: No, I’m not much of a Friends fan. If you recall from the original post, I thought of this while watching True Detective, not because I watch Friends. I didn’t watch a single episode of Friends while writing this theory. I’ve never even seen most of the episodes. It took, from start to finish, about one hour to research this theory on Wikipedia and a few other sites, and another hour to crank out the original blog post, which has now been viewed by over 10,000 people. (My favorite recap of my theory is the one on Cinema Blend, because it’s the only one to consider my thoughts on True Detective and Ray Velcoro.)

Or, as Chad Velcoro would say: “K.”


Commenters gonna comment.

For those of you who enjoy this kind of thing, help yourself to some more fan theories here.


  1. I actually thought this fan theory was awesome! I thought that a few times watching the last couple seasons, especially after Emma was born. I always hated Ross… The guy was a huge jerk! First off, he was obsessed with Rachel basically his whole life then he finally gets her acts freaking crazy as hell when she gets her dream job because he’s jealous of her male coworker. They get into a fight and he cheats on her with copy whore, then lies and then refuses to take responsibility because as we all know THEY WERE ON A BREAK! Then the thing with Emily. He chased her all the way to London and back! Then said Rachel’s name at their wedding THEN invited Rachel to the honeymoon! Why the hell would he EVER consider going on the honeymoon after doing something so awful? That’s bad in its self but he invites the woman he accidentally saids name to go!?! WTF?! Then through the rest of the show everyone acts like Emily was just a huge bitch, when she reacted like any sane woman would. Then Mona… He was awful to her, the poor girl, he stood lied about getting another woman pregnant then moved her in and tried to hide it from her. I mean, Rachel had to tell her! The guy was a douche bag and did some really shitty things, especially to the women in his life. I wouldn’t be surprised if he lost Ben because he ignored him after Emma was born.

    1. I think your being too hard on ross, i know he wasnt perfect and he didnt cut rachel some slack when she was at bloomingdale’s, he just wanted to spend time with his girlfriend on thier anniversary, who could blame him. And Fyi him being jealous of mark wasnt his fault, i know he over did it but he was right about him, mark liked rachel and waited to make a move on her and dont forget rach was also jealous when he was with julie. I know him sleeping with chloe was a dick move but they were technically on a break and he must have been distraught and drunk and did something stupid and i am not trying to defend him because i think he acted stupidly and should have accepted what he did and reconciled with rachel.

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