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What Would Bale Do

An ongoing exploration of the dark and gritty reboot

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17May 202017 May 2020
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Regarding Mad Men and Gray Flannel Suits

Today is the fifth anniversary of the last episode of Mad Men. I’ve been working my way through a slow…

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9Nov 20198 Dec 2019
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Why Does Obi-Wan Kenobi Lie to Luke Skywalker So Much?

A new fan theory about an old question My favorite fan theories are those that seek to answer the unanswered…

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29Sep 201917 May 2020
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When a Prediction Becomes a Fan Theory

For the last several years, I’ve been banging the drum for one particular, unusual cause: pedantry regarding the definition of…

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A Game of Thrones…

Why Game of Thrones Fan Should Hop on the Minnesota Vikings Bandwagon

18 Jan 201819 Jan 2018
We are nearly two weeks away from the Super Bowl. The Big Game. The Final Battle of the latest NFL season. And while being a fan of the NFL can…
Bale…

Some takes on 2017, before it ends

30 Dec 201731 Dec 2017
The end of 2017 is nigh. And with it, the top ten lists, the retrospectives, the predictions. Rather than the Top Books Published in 2017 or the Best Films of…
Christmas…

Why Die Hard 2 is a Better Christmas Movie Than Die Hard

24 Dec 20175 Jan 2020
It's the season of Die Hard. The season of "Die Hard is the best Christmas movie." Or, at the very least, "did you know Die Hard is a Christmas movie."   Die…
Books…

9 Reasons to Start Reading Moby-Dick on its 166th Birthday

14 Nov 201714 Nov 2017
It's no secret that I'm a pretty big Moby-Dick fan. Or, if it was a secret to you, then this might be the first thing you've read by me. Which…
Donald Trump…

Surely Some Revelation Is At Hand: Classic Poetry and Donald Trump

10 Nov 201710 Nov 2017
I cannot recall where the prompt originated, but in either late 2016 or early 2017 I rewrote several classic poems to be about Donald Trump. I rediscovered them recently and…
A Game of Thrones…

Why That Game of Thrones Fan Theory Is Not a Game of Thrones Fan Theory

26 Aug 201726 Aug 2017
The internet loves a good fan theory. The trouble is, the phrase "fan theory" has started to go the way of words like content or hipster or artisan or any…
Alien…

No, the Alien Covenant Ending Was Not an Obvious Twist. It Was Dramatic Irony.

11 Aug 201715 Mar 2018
It was the best of Alien films, it was the worst of Alien films, it was the sequel to Prometheus, it was the prequel to Alien, it was the story…
A Game of Thrones…

Ed Sheeran Didn’t Ruin Anything. Game of Thrones is Rooted in Popular Music

23 Jul 201723 Jul 2017
Game of Thrones is Not Sacred. It’s Grateful Dead Fan Fiction The first episode of the seventh season of HBO’s Game of Thrones sparked a multitude of reactions, but perhaps…
#MoonLandingDay…

Ten Ways to Celebrate #MoonLandingDay and Moon Landing Week 2017

16 Jul 2017
The big week is here: Moon Landing Week! Or at least, it eventually will be known as Moon Landing Week. For now, we know that this upcoming Thursday (July 20th)…
#JeffGoldblumDay…

How to Celebrate The Moonborn and #MoonLandingDay at the Same Time

16 Jul 2017
One of America's most beloved unofficial holidays is almost here. No, not Jeff Goldblum Day. Something almost as cool: Moon Landing Day. This upcoming Thursday, July 20th, is the 48th…

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