The Braver Littler Toaster

After the success of “Where the Wild Things Are” and “The Fantastic Mr. Fox,” it is clear that there is a large market for films that pose as children’s movies, but are really for adults. What some people fail to recognize is that children’s movies have always been dark and scary, and perhaps darkest of them all is “The Brave Little Toaster” with its themes of abandonment and hopelessness, and frightening sequences including homicidal clowns and suicidal air conditioners. But that was still the original, G-rated kids cartoon. Just wait until we throw Bale into the mix.

The problem with the recent children’s movies for adults is that they were still ostensibly for children. There will be no such confusion with the new remake of “The Brave Little Toaster,” as it will be re-named simply “Toaster” and it will surely earn an R-rating. Furthermore, it will be live action, with all the appliances–Radio, Lampy, Blanky, Vacuum Cleaner, and Toaster–played by actors in giant costumes, similar to “Where the Wild Things Are” or Big Bird in Sesame Street.

There won’t be any smiles in the reboot.

The film will follow the same basic premise as its predecessor, where the Master disappears and his appliances are left alone in an abandoned house. They soon choose to leave, following the grisly self-inflicted death of the air conditioner, and the sudden explosion of the Furnace from the basement. They flee the house just in time to survive, and begin the arduous journey of attempting to determine where The Master went. The appliances only know what sort of appliances they are, but none are sure if they even have names or identities separate from their function in The Master’s house – which, without The Master, leaves their existence empty and meaningless. From here, the appliances die one-by-one from a variety of perils as the landscape becomes more nightmarish and surreal, until only Toaster is left.  Perhaps, rather than these being outside perils, the appliances are forced to turn on one another, as their fear of the unknown creeps into their relationships with one another.  Without revealing the ending, it can be known that this film will have a darker, more ambiguous ending, leaving the audience haunted and disturbed. One thing for certain is that Toaster’s identity issues will become more and more prominent as the film progresses, and these will be compounded when he comes face-to-face with The Master, who it turns out is also played by Bale, sans a costume.

One other possibility still being considered is for Bale to play not only Toaster and The Master, but all the other appliances as well, in a real tour de force.

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