The Most Important Ross Geller Analysis of 2015

With the year ending, it’s time to write and reflect about something that I had never thought about until 2015: the Friends character Ross Geller, portrayed by David Schwimmer.

ross-friends
This guy.

During August of this year, I wrote an article in which I suggested that perhaps Ross lost custody of his son, Ben Geller, in the later seasons of Friends.

Two strange things happened after this: this blog began to receive more traffic than it ever had before, as my theory was huff-and-posted across the internet during two mild waves of virality. My theory was often described as “heartbreaking,” which surprised me, granted that the entire theory was that Ross was an unfit father and disturbed man who deserved to lose his son, and that Ben still had two good parents even without Ross in his life.

ben-friends
This kid had two good parents and one really bad one. Probably better if the bad one just disappeared altogether, which is what appears to have happened?

The second strange thing – which is what this blog post is about – is that I began to notice Ross Geller everywhere. It seemed strange.

And here they are: the articles that cropped up once I began experiencing a surprising Baader-Meinhoff Phenomenon about everyone’s least favorite Friends character:

Ross Geller was arguably a bad paleontologist, according to members of the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology.

This came up during a Reddit AMA, during which a user asked “Is Ross Geller from friends a good paleontologist?” and scientist Adam Pritchard answered with:

A vehement no and a cautious yes. Ross doesn’t seem to spend much time reading about paleontological discoveries, traveling into the field, or engaging in actual research. He’s too busily engaged in relationship drama with Rachel to really read much into therapsid evolution.

HOWEVER, I distinctly remember an episode where he actually gave a seminar about the importance of CAT scanning to paleontology. This was in the mid-1990s, looong before CT scanning become a standard paleo-tool. So THAT ONE SCENE suggests that Ross was actually ahead of the curve on science!

It’s worth noting that, just like my theory, this doesn’t matter. But it’s interesting, and it’s one of the many instances in which Ross Geller popped up in 2015.

And, weirdly, it’s not the only time that Ross’s science credentials were questioned.

Is Ross Geller lying about being a paleontologist?

I was not the only blogger theorizing about Ross Geller and his lies during August of 2015. One Buzzfeeder, rather than accepting that Ross was a bad paleontologist, suggested that Ross wasn’t even a paleontologist with these 15 Questions For Ross Geller About His Alleged Career In Paleontology.

friends-s6e18-800x450.jpg
If you recall this escapade, we can agree that Ross’s ethics were, at best, questionable.

Was Ross sinister enough that not only was he lying about losing Ben, but he was also lying to everyone about his career, always?

Well, at least he has Rachel in his life still. Although…

According to at least one fan, Ross and Rachel are definitely divorced

I would deride this with “who cares” if I hadn’t speculated on their personal lives myself. So here it is: Thought Catalog blogger Anne Thériault wrote a post in September suggesting that Ross and Rachel are definitely divorced.

It’s both the kind of thing that doesn’t matter, but also makes perfect sense.

And then, in October, Clickhole gave us this gem:

Latest Attack: ISIS Just Replaced The ‘Friends’ Laugh Track With Someone Making Negative Comments About Ross

There isn’t much more to say about this one, other than Clickhole is genius. 

And that’s all the Ross Geller news I didn’t know I would be noticing in 2015.

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