Why That Game of Thrones Fan Theory Is Not a Game of Thrones Fan Theory

The internet loves a good fan theory. The trouble is, the phrase "fan theory" has started to go the way of words like content or hipster or artisan or any of the other words whose definitions are so vague, so all encompassing, that they have very little meaning at this point. "Fan theory" is currently …

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Let Them Eat Freedom Fries, and Ten Other Headlines to Anticipate in 2017

It's early December, which means two things: time to start recapping 2016 and predicting 2017. While not as exhaustive as The Economist's The World in 2017 or as doomsday-esque as some other lists that I won't link to, this is my list of the headlines and stories I expect in the coming year. Netflix Starts Original News …

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Please, No More Origin Stories of How Evil Villains Used to be Good Guys or Children

If you haven't heard, the latest complete failure at the box office was the flaccid reboot Pan, an attempt to create a franchise out of the Peter Pan story by starting with Mr. Pan's origin as a young boy on an adventure to Neverland. In which the villain is Hugh Jackman as Blackbeard and Peter's best …

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Can Spectre Disprove the “James Bond is a Brainwashed Codename” Theory?

If there is one fan theory I love above all others, it's that James Bond is a codename. I've written about this extensively, including my own unique take on it, which is that James Bond is a codename given to every agent who has been brainwashed into believing that: his name is James Bond, it …

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Too Street? What You Should Know About Horowitz, Elba, and Bond

Unlike many of the people who are angry with Anthony Horowitz over his comments on Idris Elba's inability to play James Bond, I read the entire article. Why do I assume that the outraged did not read the entire article? Because, well, if they had, they would be even more outraged. It's that bizarre. There …

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Five Films That Would Benefit From Force Ghosts

There is at least one major question about the new Star Wars film that goes unanswered: will there be Force Ghosts? At least, this is what I'm wondering. Obi Wan's Force Ghost really kicked up the original trilogy a notch, and I doubt I'm the only one who thinks Liam Neeson should have made a few …

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Six Months of Search Terms: Wolverine, His Beard, and The Strange Searches That Lead People Here

A few years ago, I wrote a blog post called The Maramduke Fart Paradox, in which I discussed the strange search engine terms that lead people to this website. Among them was "keanu reeves girlfriend 2011," "mob bosses with sunglasses," and a wide variety of questions about the '90s film Blank Check. Well, the search terms …

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What is happening in the SPECTRE teaser trailer?

I don't know. But here it is: It appears that Bond has secrets, or at least a secret, and the secret involves a family member, or at least someone from his childhood.  And that this secret entity is probably tied to some kind of shadowy organization.  And that this shadowy organization might be called Spectre. Finally, …

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Why Vin Diesel Should Be the Next James Bond

We are close to the end of what is, quite possibly, the greatest franchise ever: The Fast and the Furious films.  While I initially disliked these movies, (referring to the fifth installment, prior to actually seeing it, as "more-or-less the same shitty movie they made the last four times"), I had a change in opinion after …

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The Most Interesting Responses to the Brainwashed James Bond Codename Theory

After posting the James Bond is a Codename, and Skyfall Proved It theory on the Fan Theories subreddit, /r/fantheories, a discussion with over 100 comments broke out over it.  These are some of the more interesting responses I saw in this discussion.  All original comments are credited to the redditors who provided them.  The comments themselves are …

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