Will True Detective’s Second Season be to True Detective as Halloween 3 is to Halloween?

Matthew McConaughey recently stirred up some folks by saying that yes, he misses playing Rust Cohle and, yes, he would consider reprising that character, if given the right opportunity.

“Would you ever consider going back,” his interviewer asked him. “Yeah, I would,” McConaughey answered

true-detective-flat-circle
Time is a flat circle = confirmed

This fueled some speculation and some argument. Questions like what would Rust Cohle do if he returned to the screen? And, is his narrative not finished?  Would it be a prequel, of his days in Alaska or Texas? The story of the loss of his wife and daughter? Or a sequel, in which he goes after the last remnants of the cult of the Yellow King? Continue reading “Will True Detective’s Second Season be to True Detective as Halloween 3 is to Halloween?”

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Who Would Donald Appoint? Some Predictions for Trump’s Cabinet

Interested in reading D. F. Lovett’s fiction? Buy his books here.

Donald Trump made waves this week by releasing his list of SCOTUS picks. He must’ve had some help from a buddy of his, as the list was conspicuously absent of either John Grisham or Mark Geragos.

But let’s be real. We all know that Candidate Trump might be making half-hearted attempts at adult opinions (when he isn’t saying Ted Cruz’s father is an assassin ), but President Trump, if he comes into existence, will be 100% insanity. Grisham or Geragos would be too legit for President Trump. If elected, Trump’s pick for SCOTUS will be, at worst, Bret Michaels and, at best, Matthew McConaughey as Jake Brigance in A Time to Kill.

Matthew-McConaughey-Jake-Brigance-A-Time-to-Kill
McConaughey, delivering a McConaulogue.

And so, let’s explore the insanity that will be descend upon the Executive Branch if our next president is the troubled madman known as Donald Trump. Continue reading “Who Would Donald Appoint? Some Predictions for Trump’s Cabinet”

No Matter His Name (Or How Old He Gets), He’s Still Indy and They’re Not

Ever wondered what your grandpa would look like in a fedora? Well, Harrison Ford may give you a good idea. Believe it or not, another Indiana Jones movie is in the works, and, according to Steven Spielberg, there’s only one person who can carry the whip.

“I don’t think anyone could replace Harrison as Indy, I don’t think that’s ever going to happen,” Spielberg said in this interview. “There is only going to be one actor playing Indiana Jones and that’s Harrison Ford.”

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Pop Quiz: what’s Indiana Jones’s real first name?

While it remains to be seen what the new film will be about, what is clear is that no matter what happens, Indiana Jones has become a cinematic icon. Everybody knows him, and in the pantheon of movie characters, he’s got to be near the top. And as such, it comes as little surprise that over the years people have tried to capitalize on his likeness. While imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, these characters pretty much straight-up copied Indiana. Continue reading “No Matter His Name (Or How Old He Gets), He’s Still Indy and They’re Not”

Thirteen Ways to Fill the Flat Circle After Season Two of True Detective

Well, Season Two is over. Whether you are satisfied with the ending or not, chances are that you are a little bummed that you don’t get to watch it next week. Lucky for you, we have a list of things to watch and read if you are a fan of True Detective. Time might be a flat circle, but it doesn’t mean it all has to be the same thing.

Watch David Lynch’s Twin Peaks

If you’re trying to jump straight into another show, especially one with a murder and detectives and dream sequences and unconventional storylines, then here you go. The show is created by genius David Lynch, who also wrote and directed many of the episodes. It’s also populated with dark humor and strange mysteries, some of which, like the mysteries in True Detective, will remain unsolved.

A moment from the Twin Peaks pilot.
A moment from the Twin Peaks pilot.

Watch Bored to Death on HBO

If, on the other hand, you still want mystery but you’re craving some levity after all the murder and collusion and darkness, try Bored to Death. It stars Jason Schwartzman as Jonathan Ames, a struggling writer and Craigslist-using unlicensed private detective, Zach Galifinakis as his illustrator best friend, and Ted Danson as his wealthy, childish, editor boss. Like True Detective, there are disappearances and blackmailers, but the tone is lighter and the jokes abundant.  Continue reading “Thirteen Ways to Fill the Flat Circle After Season Two of True Detective”

Don’t Call a Show Good, or Bad, Until The End is Known: On Ballers, True Detective, and House of Cards.

In a previous post, I mentioned Herodotus’s lesson, to “call no man happy until he is dead.” My specific application of his lesson in that case was to say that the biggest issue with HBO’s Ballers is the tendency for the episodes to end on soft, conflict-free notes.

I hope I didn't hurt the feelings of these guys.
I hope I didn’t hurt the feelings of these guys.

But I also failed to bring the point full-circle, which is that it’s unfair to call Ballers good or bad before we know how it ends. We should get through this season before we trash it. In particular, it’s unfair for me to do this when I can’t stand that the same thing is being done by critics and audiences to another show I love: True Detective. Continue reading “Don’t Call a Show Good, or Bad, Until The End is Known: On Ballers, True Detective, and House of Cards.”

Six Months of Search Terms: Wolverine, His Beard, and The Strange Searches That Lead People Here

A few years ago, I wrote a blog post called The Maramduke Fart Paradox, in which I discussed the strange search engine terms that lead people to this website. Among them was “keanu reeves girlfriend 2011,” “mob bosses with sunglasses,” and a wide variety of questions about the ’90s film Blank Check.

Well, the search terms have never stopped being strange. Here are some of the more interesting ones that have lead people to this site.  Presumably some of them left satisfied, some left immediately, and others left far more confused than they were before they visited.

I’ve also decided to do this in the form of a top ten list, because everyone likes top ten lists. But with 14 because I couldn’t narrow it down to 10.

14. skyfall proof that james bond isnt a codename

Whoever ended up here was certainly disappointed, as I consider Skyfall to be proof that James is definitely a codename. Other 007-specific search terms include james bond is a codename, james bond fight, james bond theory, and is james bonds codename 007? (The answer to the last one is undebatebly yes.)

13. matthew mcconaughey as jake in the sun also rises

Wow.  That’s a really cool idea. Not sure if it would work, but yeah, cool idea.

The lone star also rises.
The lone star also rises.

Continue reading “Six Months of Search Terms: Wolverine, His Beard, and The Strange Searches That Lead People Here”

What’s Missing From True Detective Season Two

Am I the only person disappointed that the episode didn’t end with Matthew McConaughey showing up to the crime scene, winking at the camera, and saying “All right, all right, all right.  Turns out time really is a flat circle.”

That's all.
That’s all.

Other than that, pretty good episode.  Very different from the first season, but if it was too similar it would probably feel stale, expected, redundant.

Let’s just hope that they find appropriate cameo moments for Marty and Rust.

Why All the Bad News About True Detective is Actually Good News

Like all television shows that appeal to the intellectual and the obsessive, True Detective has gathered itself a menagerie of obsessive fans, the sort that remind you that fan is derived from the word fanatic.  I’m not referring to the people who are excited for another season, or the ones who have watched the first season and liked it a lot, or even the ones who watched the first season two or three times already.  I’m referring to the wild ones, the ones who argue in internet forums, who watch for any hints at what the next season will be of their favorite thing, and then proceed to panic and criticize every piece of news they get.

These kinds of fans aren’t unique to True Detective.  They’re the same kinds of fans who lose their minds every time Game of Thrones deviates from its source material.  They’re the ones who are going crazy over Jared Leto’s Joker (based on one photograph), who went crazy over Heath Ledger’s Joker (before they had seen or heard anything), and who are still upset over the idea of Ben Affleck as Batman.

But, yes, the upcoming season of True Detective is at the receiving end of endless angst, concern, and advanced criticism from the same people who loved the first season.  And those obsessive fans are quite likely wrong about everything.   Continue reading “Why All the Bad News About True Detective is Actually Good News”

The Book You Need to Read Before Season Two of True Detective

People are always recommending things with the equation of if you liked this, then you will like that. Or, before you see ____, make sure you read _____. And while these recommendations can be tiring or obnoxious, there are times when they can be warranted. Or, at least, it can be good to know what influenced and inspired the things you like, because maybe you will like those original inspiring and influencing works as well.

While True Detective has become known for a host of literary references, in particular The King in Yellow by Robert W. Chambers, the novel that I think all True Detective fans should read is Roberto Bolano’s 2666. I will admit that 2666 is one of my top five favorite novels, and True Detective is one of my top five favorite television shows. But the similarities are not limited to the fact that I really like both of them, and my reason for recommending it goes deeper.

Read it.
Read it.

Continue reading “The Book You Need to Read Before Season Two of True Detective”

My Only Complaints About Interstellar

It’s been out for a while, but there are still two things that bug me about Interstellar.

And no, neither of them is the science of it.  I’m not expert in theories of time travel, interstellar travel, worm holes, quantum mechanics, etc.  I’m not even very interested in such things.  I know that some people explain the science of Interstellar isn’t good, but I don’t care.  My two concerns are more from a story and character perspective.

No, my complaints are not related to the over-use of Dylan Thomas.
No, my complaints are not related to the over-use of Dylan Thomas.

That’s Some Bizarre Parenting

I am not a parent, so I cannot say that I am 100% correct on this, but something did strike me very strange in Interstellar.  When McConaughey is trying to reassure his daughter about his trip into the stars, he says something along the lines of “by the time I return, we might be the same age.”  This is bizarre on so many levels.  First of all, is he really telling her “it’s okay, because I’m only going to be gone for a couple decades.”  And he’s also telling her, “don’t worry, this is going to mess up all the laws of space and time so intensely, that I’m no longer going to be older than you.” Continue reading “My Only Complaints About Interstellar”