Blank Check 2: Checks and Balances

Christian Bale has not made a comedy since American Psycho.  The funniest moments he has had are as Patrick Bateman or Bruce Wayne.  It’s time for him to make a comedy that doesn’t involve him murdering people or wearing a bat costume and talking in gravelly voice.  It’s time for Blank Check 2: Checks and Balances.  And we’re not talking about a gritty, bale-out reboot.  We’re talking about zany family fun in the spirit of the original.

Blank Check 2: Checks and Balances will be a loyal sequel to this movie, in the spirit of the original.  Really.

The plot is simple: 15 years after the events of Blank Check, Preston Waters (Bale) is 26 years old and living in Washington DC as a pizza delivery man.  When corrupt US Senator Lawrence Biderman (cousin of bad guy Edward Biderman from the first film) is driving drunk, he crashes into Preston’s delivery car, totaling it.  Desperate to not be caught, the senator cuts Preston a deal: he will pay Preston $1,000,000 in stolen funds to keep quiet.  Preston fails to remember the lesson he learned in the early 90s and takes the deal, setting off a series of crazy hijinks, wild slapstick comedy, go kart races, terrible impulse purchases, and money laundering fun that the whole family can enjoy!

The best part is that Preston would now be old enough to date Shay Stanley (Karen Duffy, reprising her role from the original), the FBI agent he had a crush on in the first film. Everyone can agree that it would be a lot less creepy when they kissed this time.

(What Should Bale Do welcomes any and all hypothetical movie posters for Blank Check 2: Checks and Balances starring Christian Bale.  Please submit!)

8 Comments

  1. >the movie poster could show Bale in same pose as the kid in first movie but wearing his pizza delivery outfit and holding a piece of pizza. and it could say when Preston Waters sees an opportunity he takes a slice of it. and there could be a pizza with a slice missing.

  2. >To be a true Disney movie Bale will need to either have a family of his own or be the jerk but fun uncle to a litter of nieces and nephews who thinks he is cool and then not and then yes again. His sister in law of course hates him. His brother is disgusted at what a loser Bale is. The impulse shopping, go karts, etc could all be to impress the kids. Another poster idea is to have Bale standing with a big smile on his face holding some kids and surrounded by others. All Disney movies need children to be successful. Have them all holding money. Buckets of fun for the entire family.

  3. >Who plays Bitterman? Can Gene Hackman come out of retirement? or how about Will Smith? or Peter Weller?would like to know who you had in mind. depending on who is in that role, that person could be in poster handing Bale a check. or goof on the Prestige and have Bitterman also played by Bale. Bale and Bale on the poster tugging at a check.

  4. >if Bitterman is played by Bale and so is Preston, Bitterman could actually be the character from American Psycho in a new identity. he could be a psycho here again but in a much more light hearted way. more home alone kind of psycho. one we can laugh at and feel a little sorry for.

  5. after reading some reviews of this movie, it is very clear that everyone is a perverted psycho that cannot take anything without f****** up the context or making it creepy

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