The Marmaduke Fart Paradox and What Should Bale Do

Try googling “marmaduke fart.”  No?  Does that not interest you?  Are you not entertained by what could only be an endless supply of humorous web pages centering around Marmaduke and farts?

If you have decided to type “Marmaduke fart” into a search engine, you probably notice that the blog I Hate Your Favorite Movie is on the first page of your results.  If you click on IHYFM, you will then notice that this is actually a rather intelligent blog that has very little to do with Marmaduke or farts.   Please, check it out if you don’t understand.

This is what is called the Marmaduke Fart Paradox.  Of course, everyone wants their blogs to be read… even if they are being read by people who only visit it once, are disappointed by a lack of the content they were searching for, and don’t come again.  And to have a blog that shows up on the first page of a search term?  That’s ideal… the catch, of course, being that it’s for dog-centric potty humor.

What Should Bale Do gets a fair amount of our traffic from search engine terms.  The good thing is that some of these are clearly from people who are potentially interested in what WSBD has to say: the number one search leading to this site is “bret easton ellis twitter” or “bret easton ellis 24 year old” or something else along those lines.  Which is excellent, because there actually is a post on here entirely about Bret Easton Ellis’s Twitter account.  The same goes for “batman george bush.”  If you end up at What Should Bale Do with such a search, you should find something along the lines of what you’re looking for.

Unfortunately, not all of the search terms that lead here are in the same boat.  Here are some of the more interesting searches that lead people to this site:

1.  “keanu reeves girlfriend 2011”

I could not even begin to guess who Keanu Reeves’s girlfriend is in 2011, who his girlfriend ever has been, or in general what Keanu Reeves is up to.  The only article in which Keanu Reeves has been mentioned is the Bret Easton Ellis article, in which I am discussing a fictional plotline involving Reeves and a 1990s paternity test from the Ellis novel Lunar Park.  However, people have twice stumbled across this website after searching for info as to who he is dating now.  I can only imagine their confusion upon getting this blog instead.

This picture is basically the only thing I know about Keanu Reeves's recent life.

2.  “brave indiana jones explorer pose”

Indiana Jones has been mentioned once on this blog.  In the context of the most recent Indiana Jones film being the worst thing ever.  If someone was trying to find a photo of Indiana being a brave, posing explorer, this is the only image on this site:

3. “pirates of the caribbean what happen to orlando bloom character”

The only Pirates of the Caribbean movie that I have seen in its entirety is the second one.  I didn’t know going into it that I would have to have seen the first one, and I didn’t know that a sequel was planned.  Yes, there have been several articles written about those films on here, but they mostly center around the fact that Bale should play Bluebeard and the films should descend into psychological thriller territory.  I like the concept of someone typing in the above, finding the post on Bluebeard, and saying “Oh.  I didn’t realize that Christian Bale brutally murdered Orlando Bloom’s character when he tried to rescue his wife in the fifth Pirates movie.  That makes sense.”

4. “mob bosses with sunglass”

This has only lead someone to WSBD once.  I can’t even imagine what they thought. I’d like to think that they read, and thoroughly enjoyed, the article where I explain why The Fighter is better than The Departed.  They probably just realized this was not the site for them, and instead typed in mobbosseswithsunglasses.net

Here is a mob boss with sunglasses, in case that person comes back still looking for one.

5. “the car that was missing for fast five”

What I like about this is that I actually did write a post about how incredible I think Fast Five is.  I believe that Midnight in Paris and Fast Five are the two greatest films I’ve seen in theaters in the last year.  But despite how awesome I think that movie is, I can’t even imagine what someone was trying to learn by searching for which car was missing from Fast Five.  What does that even mean?  Which car disappeared during the film and its fate was not revealed?  Which car had a contract to be in the film and lost it?  Or simply, which cars were not in this movie?  And were they sad about it?

6. “a game wer you get to be catwomen not batmen”

Catwomen?  Batmen?  Wer?

The list goes on, including

  • six sense something red in every scene
  • michael corleone think
  • the main badguy in fast five
  • joseph gordon-levitt smiling
  • minor characters in harry potter and the stone
  • mark wahlberg felon with gun
  • fast five the rock sweating
  • clothing in fast five
  • fast and furious five breath taking shots
  • fast five clothing worn by paul walker

And so on.  Obviously, I’m not complaining: I want people reading this.  And if this is what gets them reading it, then obviously I need to write even more blog posts about The Fast and the Furious, The Sound and the Furious, etc.

There is one last common subject that tends to lead people here, other than Fast Five, Bret Easton Ellis, and Batman:  Blank Check 2.  People frequently end up here after searching for:

  • blank check 2
  • blank check sequel
  • blank check 2 movie
  • blank cheque 2
  • blank cheque villain
  • blank check does preson kiss

It goes on and on, making “blank check 2” into the potential Marmaduke Fart of this blog – the difference being that WSBD is not yet on the first page of google when you search for Blank Check 2.  But everyone who comes here to learn about Blank Check sequels can undoubtedly leave this blog with the same hope that yes, there will be a Blank Check sequel, and yes, we can all hope that Bale will passionately step into the role of Preston Waters in the same way that he has previously taken the roles of John Connor, Bruce Wayne, and Bob Dylan.

I realized, while writing this, that I had never discussed "I'm Not There" on here, which may or may not be the best comedic performance of Bale's career (which I previously stated as being Patrick Bateman.)
Advertisements

One thought on “The Marmaduke Fart Paradox and What Should Bale Do

  1. no tämä on saanut minut nauramaan ääneen!
    ihan hassu juttu…)
    what an inspired and impassioned work! it has really made my evening! )
    sorry for my english is not decent at all ) I’m not so bad at understanding but speaking always bewilderes me )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s